Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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