i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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