So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize
