He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
