I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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