Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
