You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
