She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
