I just saw a hot homeless man
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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