If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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