The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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