I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
