I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
