ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Im part way to drunk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
