so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize