so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
