Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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