D3 body, D1 cock
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
