Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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