He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
