There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm always down for nudity.
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