how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
