If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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