I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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