So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
