So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
