Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
