No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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