I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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