His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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