just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
