I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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