Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
