yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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