We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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