This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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