I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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