am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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