I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
