3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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