If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize