can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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