i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
