my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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