just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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