Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
