Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
