I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize