He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
