theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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