He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I could fuck to npr.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
