I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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