Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
