Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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