You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
