it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
