3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
