can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
