I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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